Walking It Out — The Gift That Pulled Me Out of Hiding

For 23 years, I was behind the scenes.

I operated in the server space — always helping, supporting, delivering. I tapped into my teacher and encourager gifts here and there, but I was content watching others shine while I stayed in the background.

Or at least I told myself I was content.

Over time, a restlessness started to grow — quiet at first, then harder to ignore. I didn’t recognize it then, but now I know what it was: the ache of not stepping fully into the teacher and exhorter gifting God placed in me.

I would test the waters, try something new… but then shrink back.

It felt safer in the shadows.

And underneath all of it was this inner turmoil — the fear that stepping forward might make me prideful or haughty. I didn’t want to draw attention to myself. I just wanted to be faithful. So I’d keep ignoring the calling God was whispering. And still, He kept meeting me where I was.

At one point, I ended up creating a training school for the very industry where I’d been serving others quietly for years. After leading the first round of students, something flickered inside me — not a spark, but a pilot light. A steady flame. Then I led another round, and the light stayed on.

But God wasn’t done. There was another level of expression He wanted to ignite.

That’s when He started calling me to step fully into the role of teacher. Not in the background. Not one foot in and one foot out. All in.

And I’ll be honest… that’s when it got hard again.